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Better Ideas, Exposure Therapy, Daily Dad

chanman · Feb 25, 2020 · Leave a Comment

Hey there!

This week I’ve been reading

A great article in Esquire called Exposure Therapy and the Fine Art of Scaring the Shit Out of Yourself On Purpose. In it, the author describes how her fear of heights has periodically debilitated her life, such as not being able to climb to the tops of cathedrals on holiday, and how it’s probably impacted what she’d like to do such as rock climbing. She uses new research into exposure therapy to systematically reduce her immediate physical and mental fear when in a heights situation.

From the Esquire article:

Exposure therapy is basically an inversion of a well-known psychological technique known as classical conditioning. If you can teach an animal to expect pain from, say, a blinking red light by repeatedly combining the light’s appearance with an electrical shock until the animal reacts fearfully to the light alone, it makes sense that the twinning of stimulus and fear can be unraveled too. Show the animal the red light enough times without an accompanying shock, and eventually it will no longer fear the light—a process known as extinction. I was determined to extinguish my fear by proving to myself that I could climb a cliff.

This idea of dealing with eliminating your fears and weaknesses reminded me of some of David Goggins’s advice. He says don’t work on your strengths (what you know you can do); instead, work on your weaknesses. So if you’re scared of heights, or big-bodied, hairy spiders, or sea swimming, or huge snakes, then he exhorts us to tackle these head-on. Imagine your life with less fear, fewer weaknesses, and the confidence to methodically excise the shackles you don’t think about or want to look at.


Daily Dad

I heard about Ryan Holiday’s daily newsletter, Daily Dad, when he was interviewed on Noah Kagan’s excellent podcast, Noah Kagan Presents.

As a recent first-time dad, I signed up to Daily Dad, and it gives you daily wisdom. Check this out from their email from 29th Jan 2020:

It’s interesting to think about the steady decline in expectations for kids when it comes to reading. Not long ago, kids were taught Latin and Greek and they were taught Latin and Greek so they could read the classics…in the original language. Think of Aesop’s Fables. Think of children being read Plutarch’s Lives by their parents. This is heavy stuff. When you read old school books, you’re struck by a few things. Sure, there is the racism and the historical inaccuracies, but there is also an assumed familiarity with obscure figures from the ancient world and a willingness to wrestle with morally complex topics. 

There is a quote from George Orwell, which dates to the early 20th century, that accidentally illustrates how much things have changed. “Modern books for children are rather horrible things,” he said, “especially when you see them in the mass. Personally I would sooner give a child a copy of Petronius Arbiter than Peter Pan, but even Barrie seems manly and wholesome compared with some of his later imitators.”

How many adults even know who Petronius is? (He was a writer who lived in the court of Nero). And how many adults today probably winced at the idea that a book should teach kids how to be manly? Even the idea of “wholesome” is controversial!

It shouldn’t surprise us that the children and young adult sections of bookstores these days are filled with so much infantilizing or absurd nonsense. Is that because kids are dumber than they were in Orwell’s time? Or back before that? No. It’s that we’ve stopped believing they are capable of reading challenging books. So we provide “kids editions” and give them silly picture books. We haven’t built their muscles and then we wonder why they can’t handle heavy stuff. 

Well stop it. Push them. Push yourself. They aren’t babies.

Inspiring stuff!

Sign up to Daily Dad’s free daily emails here.


YouTube video of the week


Quote for the week

“Change is the essence of life; be willing to surrender
what you are for what you could become.”

Reinhold Niebuhr


Have a great week ahead!

Best, Ed

First published on my weekly email newsletter at Substack on 09 Feb 2020

Diamonds, Clayton Christensen, and the Most Sporting Team in the World

chanman · Feb 25, 2020 · Leave a Comment

Hey there!

Clayton Christensen

Renowned management guru Clayton Christensen passed away this week, and Adam Grant shared a link to one of his most famous articles on Harvard Business Review: How will you measure your life?

In this article, Christensen encourages us to not measure our lives by money, status etc. but instead by what we truly consider to be most important: relationships with friends and family, and finding meaningful work. He points to contemporaries of his at HBS such as Jeff Skilling, the former CEO of Enron, who Christensen remembers as a “good guy” back in college. But Skilling went on to make less than good choices, Christensen contends because of measuring his life against the wrong things.

The article reminded me of the book by the same name which expands on as well as having different material to the article above. In the book, Christensen recommends not basing a career choice on hygiene factors and instead concentrating more on motivators.

From this article in Fast Company:

This thinking on motivation distinguishes between two different types of factors: hygiene factors and motivation factors. On one side of the equation, there are the elements of work that, if not done right, will cause us to be dissatisfied. These are the hygiene factors: status, compensation, job security, work conditions, company policies, and supervisory practices. It matters, for example, that you don’t have a manager who manipulates you for his own purposes–or who doesn’t hold you accountable for things over which you don’t have responsibility. Bad hygiene causes dissatisfaction.

But even if you instantly improve the hygiene factors of your job, you’re not going to suddenly love it. At best, you just won’t hate it anymore. The opposite of job dissatisfaction isn’t job satisfaction, but rather an absence of job dissatisfaction. They’re not the same thing at all.

On the other hand:

So, what are the factors that will cause us to love our jobs? These are what Herzberg’s research calls motivators. Motivation factors include challenging work, recognition, responsibility, and personal growth. Motivation is much less about external prodding or stimulation, and much more about what’s inside of you and inside of your work.

Here’s an excellent obituary on Clayton Christensen in the New York Times.


Diamonds

The New Yorker is consistently one of the best long-form reads in the world. Here’s an absolute corker about the modern-day diamond industry and how Eira Thomas and her company Lucara Diamond is shaking up the industry.

I loved the sense of it still being a totally speculative industry, where people give up on mines, then others take a punt on it and find jewels the size of rocks. It’s an industry for optimists.


The most sporting team in the world

The FT had a story this week on How rugby club Saracens taught executive skills — but hid the cheating. Saracens have dominated English and European Rugby Union in recent years, but were recently found guilty of breaching financial strength rules. In order to have greater fairness in Rugby, rules were introduced to cap salaries that could be paid. This was supposed to ensure that the richest clubs couldn’t snap up all the best players and dominate purely because of their financial muscle.

In the comments of this depressing story, a reader contrasted this with the most sporting team in the world, Corinthians FC. From their Wikipedia page:

Corinthian Football Club was an English amateur football club based in London between 1882 and 1939.[1]

Above all, the club is credited with having popularised football around the world,[2] having promoted sportsmanship and fair play, and having championed the ideals of amateurism.[3]

The club was famed for its ethos of “sportsmanship, fair play, [and] playing for the love of the game”.[4] ‘Corinthian Spirit, still understood as the highest standard of sportsmanship, is often associated with the side. This spirit was famously summed up in their attitude to penalties; “As far as they were concerned, a gentleman would never commit a deliberate foul on an opponent. So, if a penalty was awarded against the Corinthians, their goalkeeper would stand aside, lean languidly on the goalpost and watch the ball being kicked into his own net. If the Corinthians themselves won a penalty, their captain took a short run-up and gave the ball a jolly good whack, chipping it over the crossbar.[5]

How refreshing.

This was first published in my weekly email newsletter on Substack on 02 Feb 2020.

Renaissance Technologies, Tolstoy, and Teslas for $78/month

chanman · Feb 2, 2020 · Leave a Comment

Hey there!

This week, I’ve been reading

an essay in the FT by Simon Schama on What Tolstoy’s War and Peace can teach us. One of the things that Schama talks about is when a ‘brigadier’ saw him reading it in a lunch bar and asks him if it’s his first time. When Schama says yes, the brigadier almost sighs with contented and kind-hearted envy. If you haven’t read it yet, then I contentedly and kind-heartedly envy you too. It’s a life-changer. As Nietzsche (I think) said, there are books where you mark your life as before you read it and after you read it. It’s up there in my top 5 books. Treat yourself to the Rosemary Edmonds translation and see you in about 3 months. Well that’s how long it took me :). The first couple of hundred pages read like The Sopranos on steroids and set in Napoleonic-era Russia. The character list is like a huge ensemble cast on the stage. Schama himself re-reads the Monster semi-regularly. It’s been 17 years since I first read it. Maybe it’s time to do it again.


Books I’m reading

I’m halfway through the book about Jim Simons and Renaissance Technologies (The Man Who Solved the Market: How Jim Simons Launched the Quant Revolution by Greg Zuckerman). It’s good but it’s not yet a book that’s going to make it onto my list of non-fiction life-changers (think Legacy, Shoe Dog, 12 Rules of Life, Tipping Point, Freakonomics, A Short History of Nearly Everything etc). If you liked Zuckerman’s The Greatest Trade Ever about John Paulson and his firm’s huge bet against sub-prime in 2007 and 2008, you’ll enjoy this book too. It goes into the personalities of the people who built Renaissance, people you wouldn’t think were your typical Masters of The Universe. These men were world-class mathematicians, academics in tweed jackets, many of whom had no background in finance. Yet they went on to help create the most successful investment firm of all time.


Money

Graham Stephan is a very entertaining money guy on YouTube. He’s 28, got a huge property portfolio and makes millions on YouTube. What’s appealing about him is how savvy he is. He’s frugal, finding a way to live in his house for almost zero dollars and also buying a Tesla for $78/month! Here he is on how to save 99% of your income:

First published on my email newsletter on Substack sent on Jan 26 2020.

Level 11s and 11 stars – Google super-developers, audiophile headphones and stellar customer service

chanman · Feb 2, 2020 · Leave a Comment

Here’s some tasty articles for your reading pleasure:

  • The Friendship That Made Google Huge Coding together at the same computer, Jeff Dean and Sanjay Ghemawat changed the course of the company—and the Internet. In last week’s newsletter, we had a link to an article about how developers are distributed according to the Power Law; Dean and Ghemawat are examples of developers who have extreme outlier output. Google ranks all of its developers according to a Level 0 – 10 scale. Dean and Ghemawat are the company’s only Level 11s.
  • I fell down the rabbit hole of researching better headphones and this article usefully summarises the key considerations: 4 Tricks to Improve Your Headphone Sound I’ve settled on the Beyerdynamics DT770s (80ohm) and a headphone amp.
  • I wrote recently on why customer service is a rarely-deployed competitive advantage. Customer service is either a delight or a bugbear for me. I love great service and I will promote the hell out of you if you give me it, whilst bad customer service will linger long in my memory. Brian Chesky of Airbnb has talked about the concept of 11 star service (Reid Hoffman talks about this in How to Scale a Magical Experience: 4 Lessons from Airbnb’s Brian Chesky.) In a nutshell, what’s the very best and most ridiculously good version of your customer experience that you can think of, and how can you dial this back in to something that you can implement and scale? How could McDonalds or Sainsbury’s or Amazon give you 6, 7, or 8 star service?

Books I’m reading this week: What You Do Is Who You Are: How to Create Your Business Culture by Ben Horowitz and The Man Who Solved the Market: How Jim Simons Launched the Quant Revolution by Gregory Zuckerman.

This was an email newsletter first sent through my Substack on Jan 14 2020.

A letter to my newborn son

chanman · Dec 30, 2019 · Leave a Comment

just in case I die, here’s a message to you my son.

Firstly, I love you. Your mother loves you and lots of people you’re going to meet soon love you. You’re perfect.

We’ve been told you’re cute, really, really cute. And that’s true 😉 But that’s not what’s important in life. What I wish for you is to have character. And to enjoy life as much as you can. Try your best to have a positive impact on the world.

Your Chinese name is Lok. I don’t speak Chinese unfortunately but I asked your cousin uncle Jerry for some help. I wanted the word for positivity and enthusiasm. This is Lok.

Here’s some wisdom for you:

Suck the marrow out of life. Travel, love, learn, do, fail, struggle, laugh, compete, dance, create, procreate, produce, read, swim, run, climb, write, paint. Do and try as much as you can!

Be brave. This easier said than done. Lord knows your father could have been braver. But it’s a value worth lionising because it’s rare and because it’s divine. It will feel good to be brave and it will help you achieve your dreams.

Count your blessings. Feeling grateful for how lucky you are in life will help you feel happier. You could have been born into a much less fortunate place with health problems. You weren’t and this means you were lucky. Live your days like you know this.

Be kind to people. Be kind to your friends and your family. Be helpful. Be useful to them. Be someone they can rely on. Without other people, life means nothing. Enjoy them.

Learn things. Read the great books. Watch the great movies. See the great paintings. Eat the great foods. Understand as much about the world and other cultures as possible.

Know that you don’t know that much. I nicked this from Socrates. But it’s true. Don’t think that you know it all because you don’t. In fact, it will probably hurt you to think that you do know everything.

Love the Truth. Truth is the only way that you’ll learn where you really are and from there you can improve. Speak truth to yourself first. Then carefully to others after that.

Find good friends and nurture your friendships. Long friendships have a depth it’s impossible to replicate. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start new friendships though. Make friends with people of different ages, countries, cultures, beliefs. There’s nothing that can’t be bridged over a beer or food or both.

Find a good wife (or life partner). Looks aren’t important. Genuinely. Compatibility is the key. Enjoy being in each other’s company with lots of shared values and the rest will fall into place. Be kind to each and look after each other’s hearts.

Be good with money. Money isn’t everything but being bad with it will hurt your life. Being good with it will give you options. Save 10% of your earnings and carefully invest half of this. Start early and the power of compounding has a chance.

Be generous. With your time, your affection, your positive energy, your love, your money, your praise, your encouragement, your inspiration.

Develop your strengths and work on your weaknesses. There’s no such thing as a fixed weakness. You can always improve something. Find a teacher and practice.

Be physically fit. Taking care of your body will reap dividends for the rest of your life. Get down the gym and get strong. Do some cardio so that you can climb mountains if you want to.

Develop determination. When you want to give up on something, carry on a little bit more. Do some challenges. Inspire others to go above and beyond.

Aim for excellence. Why make an average pizza when you could make a great pizza? Excellence is its own reward but people will give you things for it too.

Smile a lot and laugh a lot. Because life is to be enjoyed! Surround yourself with happy people. Life’s too short for hanging around drains.

Dream big. Because why not!

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
― Mary Oliver

Don’t take the above as gospel. These are things off the top of my head as I watch you nap. Do make your own list too and pass it onto your own children.

I love you son.

Your Dad xxx

written on 30th Dec 2019

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