Psychology

What are the seismic forces that we can’t see?

chanman · Jul 27, 2016 · Leave a Comment

In the last month since Brexit, I’ve been through some of the stages of shock and trauma.

Stage 1 – Anger/Disbelief

When Brexit first happened, I was in a daze.

I remember getting up at 5am that Friday and feeling sick to the pit of my stomach.

Angelique told me that on hearing the news, I punched the bedroom door really hard. I don’t remember.

On my commute, I was dazed and looking at everyone with almost hate. Like they voted to leave.

Stage 2 – Denial

“We can have a second referendum.”

“We don’t need to follow through.”

“Parliament can overrule the will of the people.”

Stage 3 – Blame

“We’ve been robbed by the old.”

“The old stole our opportunities.”

“Chavs have burned the whole house down.”

Stage 4 – Looking at the causes and what can we learn?

This is where I’m at right now.

Why did people vote to leave?

And why did the pundits, pollsters, bookies get it so wrong?

Brexit has revealed forces that were previously given little heed.

This is clear from the fact that everyone got it wrong.

Remain was predicted to win up until 12.30am on Referendum night.

Now, weeks after the event, we sagely explain it in terms of rising nationalism, opposition to migration and huge gulfs in inequality.

This all seems obvious now.

But it certainly wasn’t obvious in May 2016.

It was post-Brexit that these forces revealed themselves to the public consciousness.

It reminds me of Nassim Taleb’s Black Swan theory. (glossary here)

Where we have an event like the 2008 recession, which we didn’t see, but we rationalise and explain after the event as if we knew what caused it all along.

So now we see the forces that were previously unseen.

Resistance against immigration.
Fears about security.
Resistance against globalisation.
Huge inequality.

If a force is too big, then it’s better to accept that we can’t push against it.

It’s not to say that we can’t try to solve inequality but we should be ready for its consequences.

Takeaway from this:

If we’re looking around at the end of July 2016, what’s in our blindspot?

What can’t we see that’s there already?

I think of it like being a mouse on top of a wooden crate that’s floating on the water of the sea.

Except that’s not what’s going on.

In fact, the wooden crate is on top of a whale.

The mouse has the illusion of floating peacefully on the sea.

He has no idea of the much bigger forces at work that he can’t see.

Maybe he doesn’t want to see or more likely he can’t extend his range of vision.

Alongside, the whale, there might be other whales.

The water might be polluted, harming the whale.

The whale might be swimming at night towards freezing waters, with icebergs.

What can’t we see that’s there already and how do we become better at seeing it?

The selling secrets of Moroccans, the world’s greatest salesmen

chanman · Jul 17, 2016 · 2 Comments

I’ve just come back from a trip to Morocco, which was incredible.

One of the things that struck me most was how damn good the Moroccans are at selling stuff.

We bought so many things that we just didn’t need!

If you’ve been to Morocco, particularly Marrakech, then you know what I mean.

The souks of Marrakech are filled with master salesmen.

I’ve thought about how they do it and what we can learn from them.

Make a connection, no matter how small

The first thing a shopkeeper in the souks will do is to engage you. He doesn’t care how he does it. He will say something to get you to look around.

Even if you say ‘no thanks’, he will say, ‘where are you from?’ or ‘not selling, just come and take a look’.

He lowers your guard against him. Once you hesitate walking away, he has you.

What we can learn:

Say hello with good eye contact. Be genuinely friendly. Smile with your eyes as well as your mouth.

Physical contact as soon as possible

You’ve stopped, next he will shake your hand. Often with two hands on your hand. The contact will go on for as long as he can without making you feel uncomfortable.

What we can learn:

Get in your handshake as early as you can. Get someone you trust to assess the quality of your handshake. Err on the side of gripping too hard than gripping too softly. A wet limp of a handshake undermines you.

Put you at ease

Now you are in his shop, the hard sell goes away and you are encouraged just to enjoy the experience. You are asked to touch various products and the moment you like something, you’re hooked.

What we learn:

Don’t go hard sell all the time. Your customer knows you’re selling; there’s no need to be aggressive all the time. Don’t scare your prospect. Allow their guard to drop.

No prices

It’s likely that you are from a richer country than Morocco, so you probably think something is more expensive than the shopkeeper would think it might sell for.

He uses this anchoring to his advantage and lets you pluck a figure from the air.

He knows that you probably don’t want to offend him, so you will err on the high side.

What we can learn:

This is tricky if you only have fixed prices.

But we can see that there’s always a market if we move the price.

If you’re pitching your services, and you’re not getting any takers at the higher price, try reducing them or asking what they’re willing to pay.

marrakech souk — *In the Marrakech souks*

Assign value to the product

Everything will be ‘handmade’, ‘genuine Berber’, ‘made locally’. All words designed to increase your perceived value of the product.

What we can learn:

Whatever you’re selling, find the words that add value for your product or service. Whether it be ‘bespoke’, ‘tailor-made’, ‘customised’, ‘artisanal’ etc. Find those words and make sure you communicate them clearly.

There’s always a call to action.

They NEVER forget to ask you to buy it.

What we can learn:

Ask your prospect to do what you want them to do.

Crush your OCD with this one question

chanman · Jul 6, 2016 · Leave a Comment

Last Thursday, I did my usual OCD lockdown routine when I left the office.

I checked that the windows were closed, the taps were off, the lights were off, and when I locked the door, I pushed it 30 times to make sure it was closed.

Jesus, that sounds crazy just writing that down.

As I walked down the street, I wrestled with OCD insistently asking me whether I truly locked.

I suddenly asked myself a question.

‘Do I trust myself?’

This literally stopped me where I stood.

Of course, my lockdown routine and insistent voice in my head would suggest that I didn’t trust myself.

But it’s almost impossible to say to yourself that you don’t trust yourself.

It’s like it’s incongruent with your sense of self.

I asked myself again: ‘Do I trust myself?’

Of course I trust myself!

Do I trust that I can competently lock a door? Yes!

Ask yourself again and out loud: ‘Do I trust myself?’

YES!

Then get on with your day. When the next episode comes up, ask yourself again: ‘Do I trust myself?’

Let me know in the comments below if this works for you.

Make a big bet to make yourself take action

chanman · May 30, 2016 · 2 Comments

A good friend of mine asked me how it was going with my blog. (I have another website called How To Be Dapper)

I said it was going okay. I’d hit a plateau of email subscribers and the traffic wasn’t really picking up.

‘What do you need to do to improve it?’ he said.

I needed to make some videos.

‘Why haven’t you done it yet?’

I needed some equipment and to learn how to edit videos.

My reasons as to why I hadn’t done it sounded lame.

I realised I needed some accountability to take action.

I’d read from several sources (Tim Ferriss, Nerd Fitness and Timothy Marc) that sizeable cash bets are powerful motivators.

So I said, ‘How about if I don’t put up a video on my site by the end of the month, then I owe you £500?’

£500 is a lot of money.

I have it but it would hurt to have to cough that up.

He said, ‘Okay but do it by the end of next week.’

I immediately started to backtrack and said two weeks.

He said ‘What would Arnie do? He’d have it done. No excuses.’

Okay. That was convincing.

As I shook his hand, I was excited.

It was exhilarating.

It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I felt the rush of making a commitment.

I immediately started planning how I would execute.

I would need to order the equipment that day to arrive on Amazon Prime next day.

Then write a script.

Then practice and film.

Then edit on iMovie.

Then upload it to YouTube.

Then embed it on my website.

In the end, I uploaded it two days early.

So if you want to take action but find yourself procrastinating, try making a big cash bet, proportionate to your net worth. So you have a lot of money, make it a bigger amount. If you don’t, then adjust accordingly.

Whatever the figure, it should hurt if you don’t execute.

Really sting.

£500 would have been a kick in the balls.

Make the timeframe specific and make it tight.

The shorter the deadline, the better because it forces you to take action today.

If I had to deliver the video in 3 days, I would have had to make it happen.

What do you need help taking action with? Let me know in the comments.

What you can learn from reading Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini

chanman · May 5, 2016 · Leave a Comment

Summary

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini is a towering classic of marketing and psychology.

Cialdini shows us humans are wired for mental shortcuts in reasoning.

He then shows us how marketers use this hardwiring against us consumers for their gain.

It’s not illegal and it’s not unethical but it’s definitely manipulation.

Cialdini wants us to ‘inoculate’ ourselves against these marketing tricks, and give us some defences against them.

There are 6 principles of persuasion:

(1) Reciprocation

Studies show that if someone does you a favour, you’re likely to return the favour, and often reciprocate more than you received.

Marketers use this with free samples and free trials. I was in my local supermarket recently and there was a guy offering free sushi samples next to the sushi bar. This is a classic example of an attempt to persuade me to buy some sushi.

(2) Commitment and Consistency

Cialdini says that humans have a strong compulsion to be consistent. If we commit to something, whether verbally or in writing, we have a strong compulsion to stay consistent with that commitment.

Cialdini recounts a sad story of an American POW who was persuaded to write a statement saying mildly that ‘America is not perfect’. This seemingly harmless statement became the start of his full collaboration.

We see this technique a lot. I have small charity donations taken out monthly and every now and again, a fundraiser from one of these charities will call and I will increase my monthly donation.

As this principle states, I want to remain consistent with my previous commitment, even if it costs me more.

(3) Social Proof

This is a huge factor in persuasion. When we see other people doing something, we are likely to do that too. Look at the social proof on the front cover above:

We see it’s a National Bestseller (it must be good!).

The journal of Marketing Research says, ‘For marketers, it is amongst the most important books written in the last 10 years.’ (It must be good!)

It’s a revised edition, it must have been in print for a long time and required updating (it must be good!)

We see it when we read testimonials that we trust. Think about TripAdvisor and Amazon and how we’re persuaded by products that have several hundred great reviews from real, verified purchasers. (It must be good! Look at all those reviews!)

(4) Authority

We are heavily persuaded by authority. If someone we respect says something, we are more easily persuaded than by someone we don’t respect saying exactly the same thing.

Think about Warren Buffett tipping up a stock versus your taxi driver.

Or well-known faces promoting kitchenware products.

Interestingly, we’re even persuaded by the mere tokens of authority such as a uniform or a qualification.

Again, look at the book cover above. The letters PhD give Cialdini authority in our minds even though we’ve never met him!

(5) Liking

We’re more easily persuaded by people we like. If a salesman is likeable, then we should beware of what they’re about to ask.

‘We like people who are similar to us, who compliment us, and who cooperate with us’

(6) Scarcity

When opportunities become scarce, we desire them more.

Marketers take advantage of this fact by injecting scarcity into their offers.

For example:

‘Hurry before stock runs out!’

‘This offer ends today! Don’t miss out’

To defend ourselves against this tactic, ask whether you really want the product/service on its merits or whether you’re experiencing an irrational desire to own it.

What can we learn from Cialdini’s Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion?

There’s so much to draw from this book. It’s deservedly a classic.

We can become much more savvy consumers

Recognise that we’re bombarded by advertisements and sales pitches all the time.

The marketers behind big corporate marketing drives are highly intelligent and savvy people.

They are using every tactic, principle and strategy they can get hold of.

Every salesman worth their salt is using the principles above and more as much as they can

They are likeable (or they try to be).

They offer you something for free.

They try to get you to commit to something.

They employ authority.

They definitely employ social proof.

Now that you know the principles, you can guard against it.

Think back to the last 10 things you bought, from car insurance to BBQs to mobile phones to shoes to mortgages to your house, your last holiday.

What do you remember that relates to any of the principles above?

Would you still have bought the items if these weren’t being employed?

We can use the tactics and principles to be more persuasive ourselves

Look at each of the principles again and mentally tick off what you can use to be more persuasive.

Imagine you’re a salesman or marketer who’s just been given a toolbox to try out.

How could you demonstrate social proof?

How can you be more likeable?

How can you get prospects to commit a small action so that they buy bigger down the line?

The possibilities are endless.

It reminds us that we should yield to reality and not what we wish the world to be

Many people might react to this book by exclaiming how unfair and unethical this all is.

They might say that it’s dark-side Machiavellian manipulation.

This would be the wrong way to look at this.

These principles show us that humans are wired up a certain way. This is a fact and questions about whether this is right or wrong are fairly pointless.

The best way forward is to accept and embrace this fact as reality.

This way we can protect ourselves against our shortcomings because we know about them and we can also use them to our advantage.

And what’s wrong with that?

Learn more

Buy Persuasion here.

Check out Professor Cialdini’s website here.