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What you can learn from Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk – Your body language shapes who you are

chanman · Oct 20, 2016 · 3 Comments

This TED Talk by Amy Cuddy on how deeply your body language affects you is one of the most viewed TED Talks of all time.

Summary

Professor Cuddy demonstrates just how closely linked the physical is with the psychological.

We heard of psychosomatic, where your mind can influence your body, eg when anxiety affects your bodily health.

Cuddy explains how our body language affects our mental states, i.e. the reverse is also true.

For example, if you’re hunched over, with your shoulders rolled forward, looking down at the ground, it’s likely that you’re in a nervous state of mind.

Now exaggerate the opposite posture. Sit back, lean backwards, open up your chest, breathe deeply and you’re likely now feeling more relaxed, less anxious and more at ease.

We can exaggerate this further.

There’s a universal pose for victory and feeling victorious. Studies show that even those unable to see make this pose.

usain-bolt-olympics-200m

Try this pose for 30 seconds. Really lean back and feel the victory.

How do you feel now? Pretty good I bet!

The causation flows both ways. Feeling powerful makes you more likely to exhibit powerful poses.

But interestingly, posing powerfully can make you feel more powerful!

What can we learn from Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk on Body Language?

Immediate applications

If you’re an anxious person or lacking in confidence, this has the potential to change your life.

You know now that your body can genuinely influence how you feel.

This gives you a framework and a toolkit to almost instantly change your mental state.

So before an interview, go to the bathroom and power pose. Do a few minutes of the victory pose.

In the interview itself, recognise that at the bare minimum, how you sit has consequences.

If you’re hunched over and making yourself feel small, that’s how you’re going to feel and this will translate to the interviewer.

Similarly, without going overboard, sit in a powerful way. Legs apart, head up, shoulders and back square.

If you get nervous on dates, do the same. Stop yourself fidgeting, looking at your hands, and guard against a slumping posture.

In general, try being mindful of your posture and how you hold your body.

I have quite bad posture.

When I’m sitting at my desk, I tend to hunch forward. I don’t hold my head up. I lean on my left elbow.

Whilst cooking today, I realised that my posture was poor. I corrected it immediately but it’s amazing how quickly I regressed to poor posture.

Catch yourself during the day.

How are you sitting or standing now? Could your posture be better? Improve it now!

Reinforces just how linked mind and body are

There are plenty of recent books that deepen our understanding of how the body and mind work together (or against each other).

For example, see Coates’ The Hour Between Dog and Wolf for how physical hormonal states such as testosterone and cortisol affect our mental states.

Cuddy’s findings on body language might just be the tip of the iceberg.

In the same way that power poses encourage powerful feelings, imagine what the associated body language is for feeling relaxed, or for feeling creative, or feeling joyful?

Learn more

Check out the TED page for this talk.

Here’s Amy Cuddy’s HBS profile.

My first experiences with Nootropics (Noopept) (Chaos and Pain Cannibal Genius)

chanman · Oct 11, 2016 · 1 Comment

 img_7148

 I’m always on the look out for ways to improve. Particularly if they involve a shortcut or life-hack.

I’d come across the the idea of nootropics from a lot of guys I follow online.

Like Tim Ferriss.

Dave Asprey

Victor Pride

More recently Dave Meredith and Chris Stoikos.

What are nootropics?

Nootropics are chemicals that improve mental performance.

They were popularised in the film Limitless where the fictional drug NZT gave the main character access to his entire brain capacity, improving his mental performance massively.

Whilst no such NZT exists in real life (I don’t think), there are are drugs that do have a tangible positive effect on mental performance.

The most popular are Modifinal and Noopept.

Modifinal was originally made for the military to combat narcolepsy.

It kept pilots awake and alert for hours, like caffeine only without the jittery effects.

My main draw towards nootropics was the reported ability to focus and be much, much more productive.

According to reports, users experience an almost tunnel-like focus on doing what’s important.

Students are reportedly big fans, using it to pull all-night revision sessions.

I have a tendency to procrastinate.

I want to be more productive.

Modifinal and Noopept

My research narrowed it down to two types of nootropics: Modifinal and Noopept.

Modifinal scares me a bit, mainly because it could affect my sleep.

I’m an insomniac at heart and the half life of modifinal is 15 hours. I’d have to take it at 7am and hope that the effects wore off by bedtime.

I came across Noopept through a recommendation for Chaos and Pain’s Cannibal Genius.

Noopept is their active nootropic.

(I actually bought the wrong Cannibal Genius. All the research I did online suggested that Noopept was an active ingredient. I received it promptly and I waited a couple of days before taking one.

I took one on a Sunday, whilst hungover.

img_7403

I didn’t think it did anything.

I wasn’t suddenly seeing the world in binary like Limitless.

But I did notice that first day that I was having really clear conversations.

I felt that I was articulating myself better.

I did feel slightly clearer.

I couldn’t wait to try it on non hungover day.

Let me repeat: it doesn’t make you cleverer.

On the third or fourth day, I looked at the ingredients label.

THERE was no Noopept!

img_7149
Agh! No Noopept!

I contacted Chaos and Pain who were excellent.

They confirmed that the 2.0 version of Cannibal Genius had no Noopept.

(I wondered then if the effects I’d felt were a placebo).

Their sales team immediately sent out the right version (1.0) no questions asked.

Awesome customer service.

It took a week to arrive in the UK and in the meantime, I kept taking the supplements.

img_7400
This is the stuff with the Noopept in it

What I noticed over the next few days was that it made me so much more focused.

What do I mean?

I felt like I wanted to get the things I knew I should do DONE.

So I’m taking this copywriting course where I have to handwrite great copy ads, and I don’t want to miss a session. I’ll stay there until the end of the assignment.

Before, I would have flaked I’m sure.

I also want to go to the the gym and write blog posts like this.

Whilst at the gym, I don’t faff between sets. I don’t really look around.

I’ll still reach for my phone between sets but somehow, instead of an hour, a session will be complete in 35 mins.

Cons

I could feel some increased irritability, particularly when something was taking me away or distracting me from what I wanted to get done.

Things like Whatsapp conversations or friends wanting me to go out for beers would be annoying. I didn’t like this aspect of it.

Conclusions

I’m glad I gave Noopept a go.

It definitely does give you increased focus and determination to stick with a task. (Even now, I’m writing this at midnight and I want to get it finished).

I’m keen to try Modifinal too as I didn’t feel that the focus was as ‘tunnel-like’ as I was expecting.

Resources

Chaos and Pain get it from the US to get the Noopept version.

Reddit subreddit Nootropics

Dave Asprey on Nootropics article 1 and article 2 and one mainly about modifinil.

Chaos and Pain Cannibal Genius Review (and about Chaos and Pain itself)

 

What I learnt from Simon Sinek’s TED Talk – ‘How Great Leaders Inspire Action’

chanman · Sep 22, 2016 ·

This video by Simon Sinek will change how you see the world.

In this TED talk, Sinek says most of the time we fail to start with the Why.

Instead, he argues in general that, we start with the What, then the How, then the Why.

To resonate with people, however, we need to start with the Why. This is the part that appeals to the ‘feeling’ part of the brain. Not the rational, logical part, but the emotional part.

Sinek applies this to marketing, such as when explaining Apple appeals to consumers more than Dell. Both sell great computers (the What). Both sell the How. But only Apple truly sells the Why.

golden-circle

Sinek argues that Apple found their raison d’etre and started from there. They sold the counterculture, the rebellion, the attack on the status quo and that’s what consumers bought into. They bought why Apple existed before they were convinced about Apple’s products.

They bought the Why before anything else.

What’s the reason for this?

Sinek argues that the Why and the How relate to different parts of the brain than the What does.

The What resides in the neo-cortex whilst the How and the Why live in the limbic part of the brain.

The Limbic brain is where we feel things and is the emotional centre of our brains.

Apple then, in Sinek’s example, appeals to this deeper emotional core of our brains and perhaps this is why Apple have such loyal fans.

It’s beyond reasons such as product features, specifications etc.

People love Apple because of Why they do what they do.

What can we learn from Simon Sinek’s Start With Why?

There are lots of potential applications across a wide variety of areas.

Marketing

It has immediate applications in marketing.

Sinek’s example of why Apple resonates more than Dell with consumers is compelling.

If you’re marketing your company, product or service, what is your Why?

Why do you or your product exist?

If the answer to make people’s lives better, then that will be apparent in your product.

If it’s purely for profits at the expense of the customer, then this will shine through too.

A great example in the UK is a company called Green Energy.

Green Energy supplies energy in a sustainable way.

They want to change the world. That’s Why they do what they do.

It’s a compelling why and this shines through.

I was persuaded to use them because I wanted to be more green and it didn’t really cost me more than using other suppliers.

I also liked that they were different to other

Online dating advice for women (written by a guy)

chanman · Sep 12, 2016 · Leave a Comment

online-dating-advice-for-women

A few women I know are online dating. (I won’t say who they are.)

There’s a lot of angst because they’re not finding the right guys.

They’ve asked me for advice when we’ve been out socially so I thought I’d write a quick post about it, so it can help others.

Here are some tips for optimising your online game.

(It doesn’t matter which platform you use)

Your profile

Your photo is everything. Find your best photo. Don’t ask your girlfriends to help you.

You need feedback from the target audience: Men

Ask guys in your office. Ask your brother. Ask his friends.

Show them a selection of photos you’re considering and get them to tell you which is is the hottest pic of you.

Whichever one that is, that’s your profile photo.

Why not your girlfriend’s opinion?

Because it’s like asking your auntie what she thinks of your business plan instead of asking your target market.

What she thinks is a good idea is not at all.

In the same way, what a girl thinks is hot is generally not.

Your description

Your description is less important than your profile photo.

But if you want to cast your net as wide as possible and catch the most fish, this is a great opportunity to get it right.

We don’t respond well to lame descriptions.

Nothing says you’re a generic girl like ‘I love to learn new things. Love Sunday roasts and walks and wine by the fire.’

Nothing try-hard either.

Just tell us something real about yourself. Showing that you can laugh about yourself without demonstrating low-self-esteem.

Tell us you have life-long friends that you love and you’ve instantly set yourself apart from the majority of women online that seem to have no friends.

Most importantly, tell us what you want in a man and in a relationship.

Be real and honest. Don’t try to be laddy if you’re really a lady.

Don’t write what you think we want to hear.

You attract what you put out there.

Be clear what you want. You’re looking to polarise. You want to attract some people and repel others. This is what creates interest and not indifference.

Indifference is the worst thing you can get in online dating.

A strong outline might be:

I’m from xxxx. I love living in xxxx. I do xxxx and I love it. Although I am also interested in xxxx (back this up).

My interests are xxxx (not just eating burritos – although add that in.

The reason I’m on here is xxxx

I love to do xxx with my spare time.

I’m looking for xxxx in a man.

I’m looking for xxxx in a relationship.

Message me if you’re interested.

It’s confident and direct which demonstrates you’re of quality caliber. Again, ask your male friends to critique your description as you did with the photo.

The interaction

You will get a lot of attention from men.

Statistically, women receive 10x the number of messages online than men do.

10x!!

(See this article for more detail. It’ll make you feel better.)

These will fall into two buckets.

Men you want to pursue and men you want to delete forever.

The problem is you will be less cool with the former than the latter.

Being cool is essential.

Guys really want to chase. It’s not a cliche. We love a challenge.

If you’re too accommodating, we lose that opportunity of the chase and we’re disappointed.

Sounds absurd but it’s true.

Be cool, when all you want to do is jump his bones.

What to wear

Just look like you’ve made an effort. Wear something a bit feminine.

Wash your hair. Put a bit of make up on.

Finally

Smile. Have fun. Enjoy yourself.

Follow the above rules and start beating them off with a stick.

Hit me up with any questions in the comments below!

Further reading:

Men! THIS is the perfect dating profile picture to attract the ladies. If you’re female, THIS is the pic that will help you find love…

The under-discussed ingredient of a GREAT first impression

chanman · Sep 6, 2016 · Leave a Comment

Do you ever think about the first impression you give?

I’m guessing not very often. Maybe you might think about it for a first date or a job interview.

Most of the time though, I bet you never think about it.

You might be thinking right now ‘Ed, why does it matter? Shouldn’t people be caring more about substance? Shouldn’t we NOT judge a book by its cover?’

We shouldn’t do…….but the cold, hard reality is……….we do.

Come on. Admit it.

You judge on first impressions. We all do.

Look around you on your daily commute. People in your coffee shop. On your your lunch break.

Who’s making a strong impression on you?

Who’s stood out as someone who you’ve noticed, in a positive way?

Who’ve you noticed in a negative way?

You’re judging everyone you see whether you know it or not.

Let’s embrace reality

Scrap that comment above about it being a cold hard reality and let’s embrace this fact to our advantage.

It’s said that people make up their mind about you in the first 7 seconds.

I’d say it was WAY less than that.

This article says that actually it’s a tenth of a second.

Think about dates you’ve been on.

I remember this one date and the girl looked so far different to her profile pic. That date was over from the first ‘good to meet you’.

Think about interviews you’ve given.

How many times have you decided in the first ten seconds that the person was just unsuitable? Harsh? Maybe. But that’s how the world works.

Knowing this and not doing something about it is like handcuffing yourself before going to a fist fight.

Unnecessary self-sabotage.

Now that we’re agreed on the need for a strong first impression, what does this look like?

Let’s start with what it’s not.

It’s definitely not doing what adds up to a weak first impression.

Things like:

  • bad posture,
  • greasy hair,
  • bad clothes,
  • a limp handshake,
  • a meek smile,
  • a soft voice etc.

Eliminate these first.

What do you think a strong impression looks like?

For me, I like a friendly, open confidence.

I want someone to look good, like they’ve made an effort, with a warm smile, good eye contact and a strong handshake.

I want that person to be interested and fully engaged in our interaction.

The magic ingredient of killer first impressions

All these things however pale into insignificance against the most important ingredient in a killer first impression.

That ingredient is warmth.

This was present in absolute spades with the best and most memorable first impression I’ve ever experienced.

This was from my soon-to-be mother-in-law.

I had come back to the flat in the early hours from a particularly heavy night out, much to Angelique’s anger. (She was burning with rage.)

Stephanie landed in London from Sydney a couple of hours later at 5am.

The door bell rang at 6.30am and as soon as I opened the door, she flung her arms around me and gave me a huge hug!

We’d never met before in person but I’ll never forget her warmth in that moment.

I’ll always remember that.

It’s made such a lasting impression on me, that I’m telling you about it now two years later.

Isn’t this what we mean by a GREAT first impression?

It reminds of a quote from the late, great Maya Angelou:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Make someone feel like you’re DELIGHTED to see them and you’ll make the best possible impression you can.

Let me know what you think a strong first impression is in the comments below!

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